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Dogs, Parents & Happy Lives

28/3/2013

1 Comment

 
However much you love your pet you did not give birth to it so you are not its parent. But what's in a name? Maybe it's just cute to think of yourself as mum or dad to your pampered pooch. Some vets write to "Rover's parents" instead of "The owner of Rover" as they know how endearing pet owners find this.

Cesar Millan knows a thing or two about dog behaviour and he has said that treating the dog like one's child may fulfil the human's emotional need but is not best for the dog. Love your pet but know it is not your child. Just remember you can go out to shops or out for dinner in the evening and leave the dog/cat/gerbil at home but if you do that as a parent of a preschooler your child will be removed by Social Services for neglect.

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Whether you find animals or children or both endearing we need to find a way to live together. I see just as many annoying cute animal photos from Facebook friends as I do of baby photos but I just scroll on by.

Noticing the local animosity between dog owners and parents of primary school age children it would seem like it is nigh on impossible to have both in the same home. Yet some manage quite successfully so how have the two camps built up such hatred?

It seems that sharing public green space is the problem. Parents don't want dogs off the lead when they are playing catch with a toddler and dog owners say their dogs are petted by too many children who pull the dogs' tails.

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Dog owners are saying they are being targeted and shouted at by other park users when they have done nothing wrong. They say children should be taught not to run up to dogs screaming as it will scare the dog.

My biggest gripe is the dog poo left across the streets and in the park. It's not a wood or forest but a local urban park with flower beds and paths and a little bit of grass. Which is generally covered in dog poo. A response from one dog owner, who – fair enough – his dog had not left mess in the park, was that some of the poo is actually human. Yeah, wow. I'm not sure if he believes it's these evil children who scream and pull dogs' tails who are pooing freely in the park or if it's adults who are not associated with children but think public defecation is acceptable.

But responsible dog owners should not be made to feel unwelcome and can't bear the brunt of frustrated parents' angst over irresponsible dog owners. Some say they feel when entering the park it's like walking into a shop and the security guard following you around even though you have no intention of shoplifting.

Without drawing up big lists of rules and covering the park in signs, how can parents and dog owners share their local park in peace? The limited green space in urban areas is for all so how can all be made to feel they are welcome?


1 Comment

Most Annoying Phrases

22/3/2013

2 Comments

 
An ever-evolving language is a sign of a progressive society but some words and phrases are just cringe-worthy and shouldn't be used by anyone past school age. Yet adults update their Facebook status as "Totes emoche" and no, that's not Latin for something profound.

amazeballs
Amazing
Your new dress is amazeballs!

awesome sauce
More than just awesome. Very spectacular. Used for joy and elation.
Dinner was awesome sauce. You rock!

blud
blood brother = good friend.
Yo, blud. What time you coming over?

chillax
relax
Stop stressing, go chillax.

deffo, babe
Definitely, my good friend.
You coming out tonight? Deffo babe.

dope
Very good.
The new 50 Cent release is dope.

dot com
Added to the end of an emotion for emphasis.
I'm bored dot com.
He is going to be angry dot com when he finds out.

epic fail
Something has gone extremely wrong.
I turned up on the wrong day. Epic fail!

face palm
I need to cover my face with my hand as that's so daft.

fraped
A compound of Facebook and raped.
Used if your account is hacked and someone edits your information.
Sorry, I was fraped. I'm not selling Viagra.

frothing
Filled with rage.
These ridiculous words leave me frothing.

hilar
hilarious
Can't believe you did that. Hilar.

holibobs
holiday
Need to go shopping for my holibobs.

I'm liking that
I like that. (Blame McDonald's.)

klaxon
The sound on a TV game show when you make a mistake.
Instead of the sound though the word is used.
You did what?! Klaxon!

lolz
lots of 'lol'. lol = laughing out loud.
Big lolz last night at the club. He was so funny.

my bad
That is my fault.
I thought you were booking. No? My bad. Sorry.

nom nom nom
Very tasty.

OMG dot com
Popular written abbreviation for 'Oh my God' now said to express shock.
Plus 'dot com' added for further emphasis.

primarnie
High street shop Primark. To pretend the clothes there may be cheap but they are as good as the designer Armani range.

reem
Supreme or remarkable.
That song is reem!

ROFL
Roll On The Floor Laughing. Very funny.
Another written abbreviation now spoken.
Did you see You've Been Framed? It was ROFL!

sad face
A spoken emoticon. Instead of saying 'That's sad'.

simples
Extremely easy decision.
I'm gonna wear my fave dress and new heels. Simples.

soz
sorry.
Used when too lazy to say a two syllable word.

totes
Totally. Absolutely. Indeed. For agreement and emphasis.
You're so right. Yeah, totes with you on that.

totes kool
Totally cool = very cool. Cool = very trendy.

totes emoche
Very emotional

2 more sleeps
How many days left before a big event.

well jel / wel jel
well jealous = very jealous
You got one 1D tickets! I'm wel jel.

WTF
What the f**k. Used for shock and disbelief.
WTF are you doing?!

Media companies and PR departments are guilty of using these phrases too freely. What would you add to the list?
2 Comments

Why Kids Do Not Play Outside Anymore

15/3/2013

12 Comments

 
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Blimey there are a lot of stats that could be quoted on this subject (here's one article to prove the point). We all know kids should spend more time outdoors for the obvious health benefits of fresh air and exercise but why don't they? There's even talk of a new syndrome - Nature Deficit Disorder – as kids are out of touch with nature.

Instead of looking at the many articles about why outdoor play is good and important, I wanted to look at the barriers. That is, the reasons why it's not happening. Here are 50 reasons I gathered in less than an hour:

  1. Stranger danger and abduction fear
  2. Injury fear
  3. Traffic fear: busy roads and cars speeding on residential roads
  4. Cold/wet weather
  5. Dirty places
  6. Don't know where to go
  7. Availability of green space
  8. Playgrounds are boring for adults
  9. Wrong age play equipment - too big for the climbing frame, etc
  10. Playgrounds are full of fag butts, broken glass, litter, etc.
  11. Unpleasant environment
  12. Don't want the mess in the house (mud from outside)
  13. Don't have old/spare clothes
  14. Something indoors and in the warm is more appealing
  15. Favourite TV show is on instead
  16. No-one to supervise/take them – working/busy parents
  17. The other people there - swearing parents, etc
  18. Need play equipment to have fun: football, scooter, bike, etc
  19. Too many structured activities after school and at the weekend – overscheduled kids
  20. Huge/too much effort to get kids in the right clothes, pack a bag/load the buggy, etc
  21. Just not something your family does
  22. Don't like exercise
  23. Poor health – parent or child
  24. Computer game addiction
  25. Kids don't enjoy playing outdoors
  26. Time pressures
  27. Inner city neighbourhood isn't a safe place for children to play
  28. Dog poo everywhere
  29. Kids are transported in cars and don't walk much
  30. Foxes and wildlife
  31. Scaremongering stories in newspapers (yes, Daily Mail I'm looking at you)
  32. Over-protective parents
  33. Playing fields being sold off
  34. Bullying
  35. Fear of neighbours
  36. Too many parked cars to play in the street
  37. Inside is closer to food; often junk food
  38. Lethargy - easier to let TV entertain you than to entertain yourself
  39. Lack of imagination – what do we do when we're there?
  40. Not even safe to play alone in your own garden/backyard
  41. The internet – for fun and learning
  42. Obesity. Don't want to play as it's not easy when you're fat.
  43. Gangs in parks
  44. Drug pushers in the bushes
  45. No transport to reach wild areas to play
  46. Need to go shopping instead
  47. Parents are afraid kids making a noise will annoy others
  48. Too embarrassed to play outside – don't want to look silly
  49. No encouragement – family not teaching kids outdoor games
  50. Comparing parents in posh playgrounds

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Now we've looked at the negatives have a go at coming up with a positive to cancel out each point.  Here are some great resources:
  • outdoornation.org.uk
  • www.projectwildthing.com
  • www.playengland.org.uk

Images: dravenh on morguefile.com and National Trust/Simon Burgess
12 Comments

Could You Live Without TV?

8/3/2013

7 Comments

 
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Did you know the average American home has more TVs than people? That says how important TV viewing is to many yet those advertisements often leave viewers feeling unhappy because they can't reach the expectations.

The same article reports that the average American's TV viewing is 4.5 hours a day which means over 31 hours a week – enough to fill a second job! It also states that, in the US, children will spend more time watching TV than at school.

It's true that some people seem to need the TV on all the time, even if they are not watching, as if it really is a companion. It's on when they are talking on the phone, when friends visit, when they are out of the room. I remember visiting a friend to see her new baby and the TV was on the whole time even though we spent time in another room and then in the living room with a group of friends. I think it got turned down but it didn't go off even though the host was sitting with her back to the TV.

TV has been described as the "one-eyed childminder" and while parents will try to assure you they don't use the TV as a babysitter it does come in handy to know the kids are sitting on the sofa when you need to get something done in the kitchen.

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Family Life
This family certainly felt the TV was "an undeniable intrusion into family life" and have found an incredible number of positives from removing TV viewing from their household. Surprisingly the kids are less bored and have found more ways to entertain themselves, and the whole family are talking together more and sleeping better.

I know some parents will think depriving your children of TV viewing will make them a social outcast as they won't be able to chat with friends about TV shows but I know a family with three school-age children and no TV at home and the kids are just as popular as any others.

If you work in an office you may feel you can't join in the conversations about the TV shows the night before but it will bring the realisation of how much TV viewing shapes our evenings.

That Time is Yours
While the majority of us are always complaining about never having enough time, by reducing TV viewing we would have more time without the distractions. We could go out in the evenings to that class we've been meaning to take or finish that book that has been on the bedside cabinet for the last year.

Don't Have to Do Without
No-one is saying watching the TV is forbidden forever but by watching less you'll appreciate what you do get to see. Watching a football game round a friend's house is sociable and you don't have to avoid it.

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Sanctimonious
I have seen households who brag that they don't have a TV and look down on those of us who do yet they watch DVDs on the laptop every night – even when friends come round. If I wanted to watch an old film on a portable TV-sized screen I'd visit an aged relative as this is hardly living without TV viewing.

Try for One Week
This journalist took the challenge to live without TV for one week knowing it was going to be one of the hardest things he had ever done. He was told successful people "wake up early and they don’t watch television" which may be an incentive for some.

If you want to give this a go but would like to build up to the day, or get support from others trying it too, 29 April to 5 May 2013 is the annual Screen-free Week (formerly TV Turnoff Week and Digital Detox Week). They stress that switching off the TV is not about depriving yourself of a treat but about making important lifestyle changes to improve your quality of life.

Their stats reckon preschoolers watch 32 hours a week of television and older children watch even more so it does seem like a ridiculous time drain and a habit worth changing. Are you going to try?

All images: freedigitalphotos.net
7 Comments

Working From Home is Not Skiving

1/3/2013

1 Comment

 
Yahoo!'s chief Marissa Mayer has decided to put a stop to home working for all of its employees. Rightly irked by this decision, many have leaked the internal memo so we can see exactly what they were told.

Boris Johnson, the Mayor of London, stated that he thought the home working policy being promoted during the London 2012 Olympic Games to reduce overcrowding on the transport network would be a "skiver's paradise" which shows further ignorance and mistrust.

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And it's this lack of trust that I find most irritating. I know many who work from home and none "sit on the sofa in a onesie watching daytime TV all day" as I heard it suggested in a radio debate this week. Virgin boss Richard Branson has jumped to the defence of those who prefer remote working (as he does) by saying the Yahoo! announcement "seems a backwards step in an age when remote working is easier and more effective than ever."

Stay in Touch
Some people may find working from home a demoralising experience as you have no-one to validate your efforts. But the fact we have technology available now to allow working from home does not mean you have to be isolated and work alone. It is important to keep in touch with your team to remain inspired and aware.

Don't Care
I heard a business owner say many employees cite childcare and family commitments as reasons to prefer working from home, plus rising commuting costs, but she openly declared that these were not things she cared about and that she needed her employees in the office and doing their job there.

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Peace is Better
As someone who has worked in open plan offices and from home I know where I get more work done. With the constant interruptions from calls and colleagues, plus emails from people who are just across the room, an office environment has a lot more buzz than home but does not suit my working style. I achieve a lot more when working from home in peace and setting my own schedule.

Are Your Really Working?
I'm also aware how easy it is to appear to be busy in an office but to not actually get anything done. That emailing across the room is a good example and the constant coffee breaks and gossip chats near the kettle might be fun but they are hardly what the boss is paying for either. When I was a smoker I regularly offered to deliver things to other nearby offices as no-one else wanted to go out. And as they didn't want to go they wouldn't comment on how long I took.

Balancing Your Day
Working from home is not all about planning your next trip to the fridge for more cheese as the buffoon Boris Johnson suggested. Yes, home workers can meet a friend for coffee at 10.30am on a weekday but what is not seen is them making up the hours when the 9-5 office workers are watching TV in the evenings.

The BBC has a great article on this topic. I absolutely agree with the conclusion that an IT based company such as Yahoo! banning their employees from remote working is completely counterproductive. What do you think?


1 Comment

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